Different modes

I have different gender identities, which I (and many other bigender people) refer to as “modes”. For example, There's girl mode and guy mode. I have a third mode I call “middle mode” which is basically androgyny. Middle mode is neat because I'm almost never dysphoric when I'm in it.

Over time, I've developed different modes within my gender modes. It's not like I have multiple personalities or anything, it's like I see and experience the word different in each mode. Just as I have little to no control over which gender I am I also have no control over which “sub mode” I'm in either. (Although I can usually subtlety influence them.)

So when I'm male -

1. Guy mode. I'm assertive and take charge of the situation. (If I need too; I'm an introvert after all.) I'm good at interacting with people in this mode so long as it's business related. I usually slip into this mode at work without realizing it. Interestingly, my Chicago accent is really thick when I'm in this mode and if I try to NOT have an accent it doesn’t work.
   
   
2. Gay mode. It's me but um, I'm gay. Really gay. Usually what happens is that I'm doing whatever and suddenly I have this realization out of no where. “Oh, I'm gay!” I'm not at all attracted to women in this mode and I'm quite the fem. I tend to be in a good mood when I'm like this for some reason. I find it easy to laugh at how absurd life is.
   
   
3. Submissive guy mode. I'm very timid and quiet. It's me at my most introverted. I tend to be very creative and artistic when I'm like this, and I avoid conflict like the plague.

As a female -

1. Girl mode. When I'm in girl mode I'm a girl. Imagine that! This one can be rough because in this mode I'm the most dysphoric out of any of the others. When I'm this way I can't imagine or tolerate the idea of being male, and going through a complete transition seems to be the only viable option. Girl mode want's nothing more then to live out the rest of her life as a woman, and to be pretty.
   
   
2. Mouse mode. I'm mousy and submissive. I just want to crawl into a corner and hide, or wrap myself up in a big warm, protective blanket. I'm very submissive and vulnerable in this mode. I also tend to feel depressed and lonely. The dysphoria is not as bad as when I'm in regular girl mode.
   
   
3. Angry bitch mode. Well, I'm not especially angry or bitchy, but I can be if need be. In this mode I really don’t give a fuck about what other people think about me, which is why when I finally start going out in public it will be when I'm in this mode first. My spiked collar, leather pentagram bracelet and my need to get numerous piercing are because of this mode.

I want to say they are like being in a distinct mood but that's not quite right. Maybe I'm just describing various aspects of my personality that manifest themselves are various times. All I know for sure is that I'm kind of weird. (But I'm ok with that.)