When I posted my last entry I was in 100 percent girl mode and feeling good. About an hour later I flipped over to guy mode and started freaking out over the changes happening to my body, although I didn’t realize I has flipped so I had no idea what was wrong with me.
Page's desire to “come out” and be acknowledged has been overriding the male side of me. Now I know that I don't want to fully transition after all. I'm so unhappy with my body when I'm in female mode that I was ready to do anything fix that. So I'm back to my original plan, which is to modify my body to an androgynous presentation. I would go crazy if I transitioned so far that I couldn't pass as a man anymore.
I kind of feel like Page and I are on a long road trip and I was sleeping while she drove to Cleveland, and when I woke up it turned out the she decided to head to fucking San Francisco with consulting me. Now I have to turn the fucking car around.
I am bigender also and mostly lean towards my very girly girl. There are certain situations that I don't really show it but at the same time wearing something that is like women shirt and pants or shorts that can be considered unisex even though they are women's
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