This has been an awesome weekend. On
Friday I called my Mom and I finally came out of the closet. Once I
got her on the phone I could hardly speak; I don't remember the last
time I was that scared. She told me that she was confused, (which is
very understandable) but that she loved and supported me.
JOY!
Then I called my sisters and they were
both incredibly supportive and cool with it. Then I posted my
Facebook note and I've been overwhelmed by how positive most people
have been. Everyone who's not happy about this has kindly kept
quiet. If I knew it was going to go this well I would have come out
months ago. =P
I have a serious problem where I expect
a worst case, apocalyptic scenario out of every life situation and
it's NEVER as bad I'd feared. One of my sisters rightfully pointed
out to me that for a person who doesn’t want to be judged I sure
did a lot of judging. If you're someone I know and you're reading
this – I'm sorry if there's anything in this blog that you find
personally insulting.
Until Friday I felt so alone and I was
terrified that I was going to lose the last bit of connection to my
family. Now I feel more loved and closer to everyone that I ever
have. I was so happy on Friday that I was sobbing. I've cried so
much over the course of this past year; to cry because I was happy
was a new experience and it felt wonderful.
And now for a quick public service
announcement -
If you are a friend or family member
reading this there's something you should know first. I created this
blog for a couple reasons. First, it's a form of therapy for me.
I've had to keep all this stuff to myself for a long time and if I
didn’t get it out somehow I was going to go crazy. Second, I
thought that by doing this then maybe down the road some other
bigender person who going through what I have will stumble upon it
and it might help them.
For this reason I have held nothing
back in this blog. I talk about everything that's been happening to
me.
Everything.
Including TMI stuff relating to my
transition that might be good info for someone else who is in my
shoes but that you probability REEEEEALLY don't want to read. I
personally don't care if anyone of you read this stuff as I have
nothing to be ashamed of. Just a friendly warning. =)
This public service announcement has
been brought to you by the letters L, G, B and T.
Paige
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