Moving along

Hello interwebz. How are you? I'm good, but I look like I was suntanning at ground zero. Actually I'm pretty happy with how fast my face is healing. I overestimated the improvement that I'm eventually going to see as my face heals and I now think it's more in line with the 30-40 percent that the Dr. promised me, but I'm still cool with that.

Anyway,

I'm going stir-crazy here in my little condo. Today I felt a lot better so I cleaned the kitchen, the bathroom and I took care of a couple other things that I'd been neglecting. By the time I go back to work in a couple of weeks this house is going to be flipping spotless. I made a tasty dinner of fishies and miso soup which turned out awesome. (So I was in house wife mode today. =P ) Tomorrow when my wife is at the library I'm going to FINALLY watch my voice training thing. Other then that not much to report.

I've been worried about my wife. For a while she was getting out and doing stuff but now she's back to sitting on the couch in her pajamas watching Netflix all day. Yesterday evening she started crying and when I tried to get her to tell me why she said that she didn’t know. It's of course because of me and my gender identity, but either she couldn't articulate what was going through her mind or she just doesn’t want to talk to me about it.

Later we had a good discussion about our future together and it went very well. I keep feeling guilty and acting like my trans-status is like some huge betrayal but she doesn’t think of it like that at all. It's just been a difficult year. Getting all that stuff out and laying our respective cards on the table really cleared the air and today we've been joking and laughing about our situation all day. I'm very lucky to have such an unconventional relationship with my weird and wonderful wife.

Oh, my new shoes arrived today! I guess that's not actually a big deal but they are my first pair of general all purpose shoes that I've ever bought so it made me happy.

These are the shoes. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00336FVUW/ref=oh_o00_s00_i00_details They are very comfortable and I may get the same brand again after I buy me some female style combat boots.

And speaking of combat boots, that somehow brings me to my strange, constantly evolving gender identity. If I had to describe myself, I would say that I'm Transbigenderqueer. Really, my gender is all over the place and I don't conform to typical cisgender norms for the most part. The cool thing is that I'm starting to become more comfortable with that, but it will make things more awkward when I eventually have to start coming out to my family and work. I mean, I'll probably just say I'm trans since I identify more as female than I do male and that's how I will primarily present myself as, but I'm still the weird nerdy person that I always was and I don't see myself going all stealth mode and assimilating into society as a standard, generic woman.

Eh, I actually wanted to write about a specific topic for this entry but then I started typing and just went with the flow. Next time bloggy.

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Maybe I should start to spell it Paige? Hmm. That's the cool part about being trans; you get to pick your name. I think everyone should get to pick their own name when they turn 18. Uh, Ok. This time I'm really logging off. Promise.

Edit - I LIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Here's a cute link just for fun.  =D   http://chotpot.tumblr.com/post/20436491880/people-are-butts-about-gender-sometimes-so-here