Some small smidgen of enlightenment.

This morning when I woke up everything made sense. That might seem silly but that's how I feel. For weeks I've been searching for meaning and happiness and now I finally feel like I'm on the right path.
I believe that the potential for happiness is within all of us. When I say happiness I'm talking pure, cosmic, orgasmic joy. Most people will only experience such a feeling for fleeting moments at a time. I believe that through training and practice that one could experience this sensation all the time.

I've been trained and conditioned my entire to life to judge myself negatively. In turn I've learned to judge others the same. But why? When you judge someone you exert some sort of perceived control over them. I'm right and you are wrong. This is foolish. As long as someone is not hurting themselves or anyone else how can they be wrong in anything they do?

If I'm ever going to be happy I need to stop judging myself and giving other people permission to judge me. Instead of letting my mental conditioning dictate my feelings I'm going to do my best to remain mindful of what's going on around me so that I can identify the things that upset me and then dismiss them as the nonsensical thoughts that they are. I realize that this is going to take years of training, but it's something I know I can do and I've given myself permission to not be perfect.

My new philosophy is one of love. Instead of hating myself as I have for so long I'm going to love myself. In turn I'm going to love everyone else as best I can. I think that at the core of our being everyone is capable of pure love; it's just that some people have problems with their mind that prevent them from experiencing this. Be it through environmental conditioning or perhaps through a medical defect, some people are cruel and hurtful. I will do my best to love the part of those people that is capable of love and to forgive them for their hostility.

Throughout my life, nothing has ever made me happier than helping other people to be happy. That's exactly what I'm going to focus on doing utilizing the science of Tantra. I feel like the storm that's been raging in my heart, my desperate search for purpose, has come to an end. (At least this particular storm, as I'm sure there will be others.) So now I finally have a direction and a general idea of where I want to go. What a relief, and what a joyous feeling.
Mabey I'll even sleep tonight! =P

Pete/Page