Gender Euphoria (AKA - This isn't going to end well.)

So here I am, a woman trapped in a man's body.  I'm ok with that however, as I know that over time, with HRT, surgery, lot's of hard work, blood sweat and tears that can be corrected.  Right now as I type this I feel like I could take on the world. 

My dysphoria is gone compleatly as I know that I will one day I'll be a woman not only in mind but in body as well.  In the mean time there's very little I can do about my present condition so getting strung up won't help my cause any.  My whole body is tingling from my scalp to the tips of my toes and I feel a joyful warmth deep where I imagine religious people think the soul might be.  It's as though the fog has lifted and how my path to womanhood has been laid out before me.  I am Page and Pete is gone.

Since I began this journey I've never felt so wonderful, like everything finally makes sense and that I know what I am and what I have to do.

Very soon, I'm going to fall.  HARD.

Gender Euphoria is not an uncommon experience to many in the trans community.  While someone who might identify as a trans-man or trans-woman feel as though they are one gender trapped in the wrong body, a bigendered person experiences both genders (or more, or sometimes none) at different times.  (Many people experience gender in different ways so please don't be offended if you don't agree, I'm speaking in the simplest terms that I can for a general audience.) 

So for me, right now I am ready to live the rest of my life as a woman.  I have my five year plan ready for my appointment with the endocrinologist on the 20th and if I never shift back to male I plan to stick to it.

But I'm Bigendered and I WILL switch back, as this is not the first time this has happened to me.  All of the sudden I will think to myself, "The rest of my life as a woman?  Surgery?  Why the hell would I want to do that?"  I'll empathize with my female side, but I won't understand what it felt like to be her.

That might sound like I have two personalities but that's not it at all.  It's two different genders. (Uh, sometimes more.)  When I flip from one mode to the other you won't even notice.  With the exception of subtle differences in my speech patterns, the way I move and carry myself I'm the same person.

I've never felt more like a woman and I love it.  But while I still have so much to learn about myself at least I've gained a tiny bit of wisdom thus far regarding my bigendered nature.

"Everything changes."

I'll try to enjoy it in the mean time though. 

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